True American Hero: Brad Polansky

I have decided to do an occasional segment that focuses on a certain individual who earns my respect for their achievements. Wait, that's too strong a word, maybe the word I'm looking for is routine? Day-to-day normal tasks?

Anyway, my roommate Brad is the first True American Hero.


The other night, we went to Brooklyn to play some Bocce ball. We have a league with our other roommates and we practice every Wednesday and play league games every Sunday. It's actually a lot of fun, even though it's held at a bar and I can't really afford drinking at the moment. Brad however, works in the financial industry as a computer programmer, so he has plenty of cash to blow. And only the finest of beverages will quench his mighty thirst.

That's right.

Wednesday is 2 dollar Schlitz night.

But just Schlitz isn't enough for this man. Oh no, he needs to back it with something that would round out the drinking experience, at least for a little while until he loses the sense of taste and smell. He needs a double Maker's on the rocks just to liven things up a bit.

And he also needs 4 rounds of this debacle.

And he also needs to have his last meal of the day at noon so he gets good and snoggered.

And then he needs to play some bocce ball.

Brad and I were playing against these three guys who were quite good. They were precise and calm and they knew how to get their balls in the right place. (tee hee!) It didn't look good for Team Ted and Brad. Actually, I made an executive team leader decision and changed our team name to Team Ted and Rummy.

Depicted here:


I got one conversation on film, turn your head sideways because I'm an idiot who doesn't understand computers sometimes. Dave, I look forward to whatever sassy comment you're going to leave.



Another memorable conversation:

Brad: "Ted. Ted. Ted."
Me: "Yes Brad?"
Brad: "I know what you need to do for this next shot."
Me: "What's that?
Brad: "Come here and I'll tell you."
Me: ....Okay.
Brad (whispers): I love you.
Me: You're a True American Hero.

We threw his ass in a cab and took him home before he puked all over the bar and got us banned for life. Brad Polansky, you are a True American Hero.